Hi! I’m Natalie, inventory associate at Vanscoy, Maurer and Bash Diamond Jewelers. I am also a freshly retired 2025 young bride. As the residential jewelry and bridal advice giver in my friend group, I want to give you real, non-overwhelming, straightforward answers to your most confusing engagement ring questions. With three years of experience under my belt, I know a thing or two. This is what I would tell my soon-to-be engaged friends and their boyfriends, just out on the internet!
There comes a time in every girl’s life when her daydreams of her future wedding become a reality instead of just wondering thoughts. And usually, that starts with her engagement ring. But in a world full of millions of choices, how do you know what’s most important?
Here at VMB Jewelers in Lancaster, PA, I see everything from the classic solitaire to the completely custom, unique engagement ring on the regular. There is no one defining factor or universal ‘best’ ring when choosing an engagement ring. Rather, the most important part of the engagement ring will vary from person to person, and depends largely on personal style, budget and priorities. While a jewelry store associate will have certain things that they will keep in mind and share with you to encourage or caution against, an engagement ring is a personal decision that is meant to represent your love and commitment. The right jeweler will be a guide, not a decision-maker.
To help you get started on this journey, I put together my own guide for those fresh to the engagement ring journey. Keep reading to hopefully get your questions answered!
Should the ring be a surprise?
This one is up to you and your significant other to decide. While it used to be that the ring was a complete surprise, the tides have shifted. According to The Knot, around 77% of couples go ring shopping together (or at least, have some involvement in the final design). We see both on a frequent basis.
We encourage stopping in for the first time together. This allows the partner wearing the ring to make sure that the design in their head matches what they see on their hand. Sometimes, customers take a complete 180 from all the pins they have saved on their Pinterest board!
What should I consider first when choosing an engagement ring?
Personal style should be one of your first considerations when starting to look at engagement rings. Do you prefer classic, minimalist looks or does your style lean more towards bold, unique looks? Do you prefer the look of white metals or yellow gold? Do you plan to wear your engagement ring with other rings or by itself? Also, you want to consider how your engagement ring will grow with your style over time. Will you want to redesign your ring every few years as your style changes or do you want to keep the same ring your whole life?
Lastly, you should take some time to think about what you want out of your engagement ring, not what social media says you should have. Taking a moment to drown out the internet noise and narrow down your non-influenced options will help you feel the most confident about your choice.
How do I know what engagement ring style I like?
The beauty of the internet age is having thousands of ideas right at your fingertips. Do some Pinterest scrolling, look up some jewelry accounts on Instagram (our handle is vmbjewelers!), and search the engagement ring hashtag on TikTok! Once you find a few styles you like, reach out to a local jeweler (we’re in Lancaster, PA!) and schedule an appointment. If you let your jeweler know you have a few styles that you would like to look at, we can make sure we have some options in store for you. We always recommend stopping to try on those styles and make sure you like them on you, not just the Instagram model.
How important is lifestyle when choosing an engagement ring?
Very! Your job, how often you will wear your ring and how much you use your hands will impact how your engagement ring wears over time. If you are in the medical field or restaurant industry, two very hands-on professions, you may want to consider an extremely durable setting or not wearing your ring at work. If you work an office job or remote work, you have a bit more flexibility with regards to daily wear.
Your job is not the only lifestyle trait to consider when choosing your ring. If you plan to wear your ring while sleeping, taking care of children, and doing household chores, you will want to prioritize a more durable setting. If you want to only wear your ring to special occasions, then you can eye those daintier styles with less fear.
What if I like a ring design that doesn’t suit my lifestyle?
The heart wants what it wants! If you want a style that doesn’t align with your lifestyle, then simply be prepared for more careful wear, close observation and frequent maintenance. You can also consider only wearing your engagement ring at special occasions to preserve it and pick a simpler band for daily wear! As your jeweler, I would never tell you that you can’t buy a certain style. I will give you adequate caution and some advice to help you care for your ring as best as you can. But whatever you do, get jewelry insurance on that bad boy!
Should I have an idea of my budget before going engagement ring shopping?
While not necessary, having an idea of your budget before ring shopping will be beneficial for both you and your jeweler. It will help your jeweler show you obtainable designs as well as customizations to either bring your desired ring within budget or add special upgrades.
What should I know about diamonds before I go engagement ring shopping?
The two rules of thumb we use the most here at Vanscoy, Maurer and Bash Diamond Jewelers is to buy with your eye and prioritize cut above all. Looks matter when purchasing a diamond - cut is the most visible quality of a diamond because it determines the diamond’s sparkle. If your eye likes a diamond, then no matter the quality, it is the right one for you!
We go more in depth on the various diamond grades, their meanings and their importance in this blog and in this one!
Should I get a natural or lab-grown diamond?
This answer is personal preference. Lab grown and natural diamonds are physically, optically and chemically identical - the difference comes down to creation and cost. While lab grown diamonds are more cost-effective options, especially with larger carat sizes, natural diamonds maintain their value better because they are a finite resource. If you would prefer an easy option for upgrading your ring in the future, then go natural! We offer a trade-up policy on all our natural diamonds. But your eyes are bigger than your budget, a lab diamond might be right for you.
How important is engagement ring craftsmanship?
Your engagement ring’s craftsmanship is one of the most important factors to consider when choosing your ring. Craftsmanship will determine how well your ring holds up against daily wear and tear and increase the longevity of your ring. A poorly crafted engagement ring will always have problems no matter how much care you put into maintaining it. To avoid future stress and save on costly repairs, make sure to choose a jeweler who prioritizes well-crafted rings over just looks.
Should my wedding band sit flush with my engagement ring?
How your wedding band sits against your engagement ring is a personal decision! While some prefer to not have any gapping, others find the gap between a low set ring and a wedding band chic. With many custom options out there, you can still have a low set ring with a carefully contoured wedding band that will perfectly hug your engagement ring. If you don’t want to go through the custom process, but still want that smooth snug look, then go for a cathedral or peg setting with your engagement ring!
Should I buy from an online jewelry business or a local jewelry store?
Where you buy your engagement ring, whether online or from a local store, is up to you! Obviously we’re a bit biased at Vanscoy, Maurer and Bash Diamond Jewelers, a local store in Lancaster, PA, but we have our reasons. For a purchase that is not only expensive but extremely meaningful, we believe that nothing can top the experience of in-store shopping before making your final decision. Your eyes can’t lie to you but online photos can, especially when it comes to diamonds. If you’d go in person to try on a pair of shoes before buying them, why not go into your local jewelry store to choose your engagement ring?
How do I know if I’m choosing the ‘right’ engagement ring?
The right engagement ring for you will be one that you can’t stop thinking about, that you are excited to look at for years to come and will make you think of the love of your life each time you stare down at your hand. Don’t fall too deep into the social media rabbit hole and start worrying about every design and detail out there! While those internet jewelers might tell you to avoid these treads or advise on choosing some unique stone, we think the only option that matters is yours. If the super trendy oval solitaire feels like your ring, then it is!
The Bottom Line from a Lancaster Jeweler
An engagement ring is the first step into much bigger life chances. It makes the starting line to a massive life change, one just as daunting as it is exciting. But we as jewelers don’t want choosing this ring to be one of those stressors. Let us help make your engagement ring search be as enjoyable as it can be! Stop in at any time or make an appointment - we can't wait to help you get this journey started!